Woman: Can I have birth control?
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
ocean-waves-and-mermaids: theblindingsmile: Instant reblog.. Tears actually came out of my eyes. i didnt even need to watch the whole thing, i already reblogged it THE TRACKS OF MY TEARS
1thousandjulys: oh my god I’m actually crying as;ldkfjas;ldf what’s wrong with him is he scared what’s happening oh my god the poor baby you’re so cute I want to love you LET ME LOVE YOU
dujardins: e-pic: plot twist: suddenly oprah shows up and has an oscar for everyone under their chairs #except leonardo dicaprio
I’m going to go to Titanic 3D and bring little spray bottles of water and spray people during the sinking of the ship to help with the 3D experience
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes...– Mary Shelley, Frankenstein. (via riverran) #mary shelley #this quote though #it’s all kinds of wonderful #hey remember that time one asswipe was like you have 30 seconds to name something invented by a woman… #…and Mary was like SCIENCE FICTION MOTHERFUCKERS #that was awesome #thanks Mary Shelley...