Somebody was worried about the germs on the library book they had borrowed, so their genius idea of making the book ‘safe’ was to microwave it. The metal security chip we have in all our books caught fire and scorched a toonie-sized hole through half the book. They followed this up by telling me they hoped they didn’t have to pay for the damages. WHAT.
A boy in my class who was watching Mulan on his laptop for the entire lecture. I spent the class peering over his shoulder instead of listening. I am the most productive student.
Do Bees Get Herpes?
My mom wants to write a kids book about STIs called “Do Bees Get Herpes?” First chapter. “Stinger? I barely know ‘er!”
Someone keeps hiding the Twilight series in different places in my library. So far it has been stashed in the sexuality section and next to the biographies of Hitler. Last shift I found it in the breast feeding section. I just. I don’t even know.
Reira: I received a message from the library informing me that if I do not return my books, I will have an outstanding fee of $137.50. WHO DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE? I've been having trouble sleeping since I received that message. I need to return them soon.
Me: you are taking this the wrong way. We are merely telling you what a fantastic job you've been doing. Your fee is OUTSTANDING! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Kids say the darndest wings.
One of the kids in the grade 3 class I’m volunteering in read me her story today. Here is an excerpt: “The Mother chicken was so happy that I had returned her baby chick safe and sound she gave me some delicious chicken wings to eat and a bag of gold as a reward.” What is this crazy hoe chicken thinking? Thanks for bringing my child home, here are some severed limbs of my...
This is going to be the BEST day.
I’m going to watch The Scream Team and make slice and bake Halloween cookies and then watch Halloweentown and after that cherrypotter, the boyfriend and I will eat tiramisu and watch “The Wedding of River Song”. Also if anyone doesn’t know what The Scream Team movie is, you need to get yourself on the internet and look up some made-for-tv Disney Halloween movies or we...